FAQ

I get VERY clingy when I'm in a relationship, how do I stop?

The answer to this may be complex but I can offer a simple suggestion: change your attachment style from anxious to secure. What is an attachment style? I am oh so glad you asked

4 main Attachment styles

  1. Secure - this is the ideal way to attach to others and the good news is roughly half of the population is securely attached. People with secure attachment freely display interest and affection towards others BUT they are also comfortable being alone. They make boundaries and they stick to them, they aren’t possessive nor are they passive or dismissive.

  2. Anxious - 20% of the population is said to be anxious meaning people who are often nervous and stressed about their relationships. They crave intimacy but feel doubtful about their own worth so ultimately they lack confidence that anyone will truly love them. People who are anxiously attached need affirmation from others so they have trouble being alone and thus often find themselves staying in unhealthy relationships long after the red flags started waving.

  3. Avoidant - people who avoid attachment are super independent and often uncomfortable with too much intimacy. They’re the kind of people who require a lot of space and a lot of alone time. They’re also afraid of commitment but unlike anxious people it isn’t because they fear they won’t get enough love but fear they will get more than they can manage. 

  4. Fearful avoidant - This is a combination of avoidant and anxiously attached. These are the people who push people away not because they want space but because they fear once you get too close you will want space. They are torn between fearing and craving a level of commitment they don’t think anyone can provide.